Or when plans consistently fall apart?
How am I supposed to stay positive when the only things that happen are negative?
"...about fifty years left of just waiting around"
Am I just killing time?
Is there anything else?
Anything I'm supposed to do?
Anything I have to do?
Should I do what I'm socially obligated to do?
Or should I do what I want?
But what I want doesn't work out. I get tired of it all. To be on a stage is to need attention. To need attention is to be immature. Childish. It's pathetic, really. Sometimes I think music has hindered my maturity and fucked up my view of how things are supposed to be. Then again, I turned to music because I didn't want what everyone else wants. I don't want to wait around to die. I don't know if I want to reproduce. I shouldn't have to. Scientifically speaking, some say the only point of our existence is to recreate, but that's just an endless and redundant cycle. I would only want to reproduce with the right person. The one who has positive traits to offset my negative ones.
What if I miss out on finding that person?
What if I already found them, but fucked it up?
Should I spend the rest of my dating life comparing every girl to someone they could never be?
Being sincere doesn't work out.
Being insincere doesn't work out.
Disingenuity and complacency define our lives. Being okay with everything. Analyzing nothing. No self-evaluation. No thoughts outside of our societal norms. Acceptance of a life without meaning in a world that lies in seclusion in a cold and empty part of the galaxy.
Or something.
Who knows.
"It's not good for man to be alone"
This is a lonely life we lead. Putting on a face at work, putting on a face for this group of friends, one for that group of friends, and one for your family. What does that make you? An actor. How often are we really truthful? Do we ever really say what we mean? We're entertaining each other.
We're entertaining each other for attention...and like I've said, that's pathetic.
We place value on items that do nothing for us.
Anytime I've pursued what I want, it's never made me happy. Music didn't make me happy. School didn't. Sports wouldn't. Comedy wouldn't. The fucking post office sure as hell won't.
Maybe we should care less about what we want, and more about what we need.
Robin Williams had everything he wanted, but was that enough? There was something he needed that he didn't have. I'm sure it wasn't another house, a child, another movie, comedy or more fame. It was something that had no cost. No financial value.
Companionship- a feeling of fellowship or friendship
Synonyms: friendship, closeness, togetherness, intimacy, rapport, comaraderie
What else do we need?
Finding it is one thing, obtaining it is another.
