Being Young is Getting Old

"The future freaks me out"

Q: Where did I think I would be at 25?
A: I figured I'd be on tour bus.
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Everything in entertainment is so situational. Very temperamental.

Sometimes I look at professional athletes and wonder why it wasn't me. Why couldn't I be that guy? Why do they get to have that talent? When I look more into it, I realize: maybe I should be glad it wasn't me.

They have money, fame, adoration, joy, popularity and more. Who doesn't want that? These people have everything.

A lot of that applies to musicians too. People PAY to see you!

The lights go out. The crowd roars. Slowly, an entire band makes it's way to the stage. You can't really see them yet, but you know they are there. So much anticipation, adrenaline and excitement.  Whether it's 50 people or 5,000. They all want to see YOU do your job. Not many people get that kind of treatment. I don't know of a better high. I haven't tried heroin, but I can at least say that this one won't necessarily put you in rehab. Well.. if I want to actually know what I'm talking about, maybe I should go shoot up real quick......

Uh. Anyways...

What happens when it's all over?

You go from having people want your attention night after night to sitting at a desk and starting at a computer for $12 an hour.

You lose a ton of money because very very few musicians make any. Without getting extremely into the details, record labels usually act as a loan shark more than anything. Post-2000 bands don't make enough money to pay off those loans. One album on a major label can give a band thousands and thousands of dollars in debt. The Starting Line said that they're album Based on a True Story (2005) cost between $300-400,000 (recording, producer [whom they kindof didn't pick] pressing, promotion, music videos, etc, etc, etc). I'm sure labels have adjusted their structures by now. Also more bands are going the independent route and making their own choices which greatly reduces costs. Looking into how it all really works though will give you a serious headache.
So many people in the industry did not know what they were doing with the bands I loved. They'd get signed to a label and the label would get bought out (MCA, Virgin, etc.). Everyone who brought the band to the label gets fired. They get a producer they don't like. They're told to sound like this band or that band and to "write singles!".

"All of a sudden, your music is a product. Your fans are consumers." - Kenny Vasoli (The Starting Line)

In music and in professional sports, you're likely burnt out at 30.

What are you supposed to do then?

"Yeah, I used to be important. I used to be loved by hoards of adoring fans, now I uhh.... sell insurance"

How do you handle that?

I couldn't handle the idea that I wouldn't get to fulfill a dream. Even worse, I couldn't handle the idea that my dreams were meaningless. What's it all for? Frivolous. Superficial. It's all for a moment that was never meant to last.

I don't know if I can follow that line. I keep reading it over and over. What is meant to last? What's permanent? Nothing is, right?

I want a plan. I want goals. Real life goals. I don't want a temporary high. I've enjoyed being young, being free and never wearing pants in my apartment (rules are rules).
Aside from hardcore drugs, and losing all of my money, there isn't much else for me to do as a young person.

I need stability. I need a family.

AHH! DELETE DELETE!!!

My response to having anybody settling down, having a wife and kids has often times been "fuck that noise", which in that moment, I sincerely meant. Now, it's just not true.

It's the only thing I won't lose. I don't believe that family should be an obligation. I don't want it to be an accident. Or a mistake (like this dude). We are all wired to create. To love and be loved. What more could you ask for?

(^^Really lame)

In the past, I've enjoyed the unknown that is my future.

At 25 though? I don't think so.



P.S. Look up the music stuff. This is one of my favorites on the financial topic. It's from a member of an old band called Too Much Joy. Mind you, this was in the 80's and I never would've heard of this band without this blog.
http://steveleeds.wordpress.com/2009/12/02/too-much-joy-my-hilarious-warner-bros-royalty-statement/

P.P.S. I think I use too many commas.